January, 1996
Acrylics on Paper

“The struggle has ended, the ego has no choice but to let go.” Vicki Noble

Afloat with a wing and a prayer. You could choose to die. There are worse choices you could make. Your friends keep a candle lit. Anubis is present – the Egyptian jackal god who weighs your heart with a feather as you transition to see how you fared in this life. He is a jackal, of course because they eat carrion flesh.

Journal 1/17/96: ….A body floating in the ocean – going with current. It’s a dark and stormy night. Have I fallen off the boat in the upper right? Blood – menstrual blood – is streaming which feels okay though blood attracts sharks. The moon is shining. It also looks like a lighthouse. It’s a beacon anyway. The body had to struggle for surrender. At various times during the painting of it the arms were flailing, looped up overhead, but they finally settled, one over the belly, one along the side… leg dangles brokenly…