At the same time I worried about what Tom thought about me painting and my emerging call to wildness, I was also very cognizant of the gifts he and our sons were giving me that first spring.
Right after this painting was done and before the journal entry below, Tom and I took off a day to get married. We’d been together 23 years and it just seemed sort of time. Looking back I see it now as tying the knot before we rocked the boat another degree. Another way of signing on for the journey. Together.
Journal 4/23/95: I painted myself from behind kneeling out on the little promontory that is my afternoon sunning and power spot. The spruce tree branches peek in on the upper left. Tom stands holding the orange broom he gave me for my space and Stellaluna, the little stuffed bat that has become such an ally. Skye holds the mobile he made me for my birthday with the woman with the moon in her belly. Morgan holds the candelabra because he loves candles so. Light giving Morgan. Around me on the blanket are some of my tools.
I was trying to show myself heading off into the unknown – perhaps even leaving my body – while the guys gave me gifts of place and space that made it possible. A journey of discovery. I think Tom felt pretty left out when he saw the painting though I never meant it to indicate really going – or not for long.