It’s the place of The Fool – O card in the Tarot. The first painter. The first painting.
Journal 12/8/96: The rules, the laws are being left behind. If I am to perform miracles I must break scientific laws and social rules (especially my mother’s). This is dangerous territory but beautiful. The The Boggy Path is still shifty, yet I know now (unlike a year ago) that I will land on solid ground. Though it may not feel solid to someone who still believes in the laws or solid all the time to me. Something basic is giving way inside me. The healings, the Tarot, the bodywork with Dana Zia, the food stuff, the balancing dance with Tom, are all adding up, bit by bit, to an entirely new view of the world.
The stories are still there but they don’t need to obsess anymore – don’t need to be constantly told. They bore even me. They are grist. Raw material for the alchemy that must take place.
The blue in the painting swirled. The boat. The tree with roots – impossible combination. The woman in flames – a witch – was rubbed out. She is still there. She grounds and reminds me but she doesn’t drive me and she doesn’t need to be talked about much. The fairy is there too – disguised as a flower. A guide. Another reminder – but not often talked about either. And the antlered woman – the ancient who knows the mysteries. Artemis! She who is always trying to come through with wisdom and help for me. She is there to be drawn upon too. All there on the left side. In the middle is the shaft of wheat – shafts of light – starburst, comets – entangled in the tree. My special color. Harvest. Sacrificial offerings. My dirndl and connection with the Austrian Alps. And on the right a mystery – my favorite part of the painting – swirls, shadows, odd crisp shapes and scratches. Places to be explored. The boat could be a snake – a moon – the goddess – also the Vikings somehow. The top swirl can be galaxy swirling like Owen Stephen’s paintings – or some of Georgia O’Keefe’s. But it is also my cervix – blue and soft. The entry into the special place where my knowledge is hidden.
Written Fall, 2006
This painting is already sold.